


sunflower dreams

by rainbowpetals (necessarymistakes)



Category: SuperM (Korea Band)
Genre: Cat/Human Hybrids, Light Angst, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mildly Dubious Consent, idiots to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:15:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26924971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/necessarymistakes/pseuds/rainbowpetals
Summary: All it takes to resolve the misunderstanding between himself and Jongin is accepting a visit from said catboy and helping him through his heat. Which is also (almost) the exact opposite of what Ten advises Taeyong to do. Life is funny that way.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34
Collections: Honey Boy: Round 1





	sunflower dreams

**Author's Note:**

> I want to start off by saying that although this was my first fest it was an interesting experience. Thank you to the mods for organizing it. 
> 
> I want to say to the prompter that I hope you’ll give this fic a try even though I’ve tagged ‘light angst’. It really is light. Blink and you’ll miss it. I promise. I've also tagged 'Mildly Dubious Consent' because Jongin's heat is a catalyst for them having sex but at this point in the story they both want to have sex with each other. Also, I hope you’ll forgive me for taking some liberties when writing this fic. Although I feel that at the fic’s core, it's faithful to the prompt. In all honesty, I tried my best because I really wanted you to enjoy it at the very least.

It’s a Wednesday, and like every Wednesday at twelve and any other day ending with _y_ , Taeyong lounges next to his bedroom window. It takes up most of the wall and slides out into Johnny’s garden, the one Johnny pours hours into when he’s not training idols and the like. (Johnny is a personal fitness trainer and always has stories to share about the idols and celebrities he works with, using his face and hands to tell them. Taeyong is always captivated, even if at times he falls asleep in the middle of them.) 

The maroon carpet in his room is plush and comfortable, making it easy for Taeyong to relish in the gentle rays of the sun on his skin. It’s like being held and caressed; the sun rays feel lovely on his face, his ears—his whole body to be honest— and he relaxes even further into the carpet as his black and sleek tail curls and uncurls lazily next to him. He probably looks like a Taeyong-puddle, as Johnny describes him when he’s been in the sun for hours, luxuriating.

One of Taeyong’s cat ears twitches as quiet steps near his bedroom door. A corner of his lips raises in amusement. Johnny, his owner, is always so careful when coming to see him, never wanting to startle Taeyong, since he is sensitive to loud noises from years in the street. Johnny calls him a flower, saying that he’s opened up beautifully. And, he has. He’s so different from who he used to be. (“The sky is the limit Taeyong. If I can touch it so can you.”) Johnny’s never-ending kindness warms Taeyong from the inside like the gentle rays of the sun do to his skin. He doesn’t take it for granted. He doesn’t take Johnny for granted. 

Johnny is surprisingly nimble on his feet for a human, and as Taeyong has come to learn, Johnny is also surprisingly light-footed for a tall human, especially for one that works on his physique as much as he does. Taeyong knows this because he’s seen television, and the tall, big men are always loud and ungraceful, taking too much space, making too much noise. Johnny isn’t like that. 

Taeyong has learned as the years have gone that Johnny is a juxtaposition. Since the beginning, he was never what Taeyong expected. Another face flashes in his mind of someone who was also nothing like he expected, soft, violet eyes that were cold, but he turns his head as the door opens, swiftly evading that face, hiding from it again. 

He doesn’t understand the feeling that bubbles when he remembers, but that doesn’t change his conviction to ignore it. Maybe he drank his orange juice too quickly at breakfast and now his stomach is protesting?

“Did I wake you?” Johnny asks as he sits next to Taeyong on the floor, folding his long legs underneath him first, and then combing his long fingers through Taeyong’s black hair. 

Taeyong shakes his head, “I was just enjoying the sun.” His words come out like syrup, partially enunciated. He’s. just. so. com-for- _ta-ble_. here in the sun. Time never seems more fictional than in times like this when his bones are smooth, smooth, _smooth_ pudding.

It’s why most hybrids aren’t allowed to have jobs. Their animal side never truly understands this restricting invention that betrays nature. 

Johnny’s face relaxes, eyebrows settling in gentle lines once again on his face. “When aren’t you…” It’s not a question so Taeyong does not answer it. If anybody knows him, it’s Johnny, the human that chose him out of countless young hybrids at the shelter and raised him from a child to a teenager. He’s nineteen in human years but almost six and a half as a hybrid. Perhaps more childish than human teenagers and wiser than the oldest ones. Johnny has told him this—Taeyong is not one to make up things. His tail would betray him if he did. 

Taeyong sees the smile that spreads across Johnny’s face before he closes his eyes when Johnny scratches his scalp, sending currents of bliss throughout his body. Johnny finds Taeyong’s favorite spot behind one of his big, black ears. Scratching there always makes Taeyong melt, mind going blank, and he does, melts there once more in the middle of the floor. He lets out a purr that makes Johnny chuckle. It makes Taeyong happy. He only ever wants to make Johnny happy. 

He’s not really thinking when he asks, “What do you want to tell me?” He’s not looking for an answer, even if Johnny almost never interrupts Taeyong’s moments of languidness under the sun. Taeyong never minds Johnny’s presence, but he can’t deny that he needs these moments. He’s always been a chill catboy, always going with the flow, but he still needs his moments alone to just be. Let the world fall away. He says these words because they pop into his head as he’s watching a small, blue bird flutter from flower to flower in Johnny’s garden. 

His ears perk up when Johnny draws in a breath, his heart beating louder, and he starts fiddling with the fabric of his pants. All telling signs.

Taeyong sits up, resting back on an elbow, black tail curling, interested, beside him.

“How do you always know?” Johnny pouts after a beat of silence. 

Taeyong would laugh if he was that sort of cat, and if he didn’t want to know. Still he can’t help his hazel eyes from opening wider, and his smile curling to show pointed cat fangs.

Johnny blinks at him. “Wahh, you’re so frightening. Seriously, look at those sharp teeth.”

Taeyong raises an eyebrow but responds with, “You’re just not a good liar, hyung.” It’s not the whole truth, but he’s already explained before that there are things that humans give away when trying to hold back the truth, things that their bodies give away: scent changes, hearts beating louder, and strange behavior. 

Johnny blinks at him once more before sighing, the tension bleeds out from his body just as suddenly as it appeared.

Taeyong reaches out, patting him on the head, carding his fingers through brown strands. “It’s okay. You can tell me anything, remember?” He smiles again, but this time his smile is softer, no pointed cat fangs.

Johnny nods, bringing down Taeyong’s hand that is in his hair and holding it in his. He takes in a deep breath, and Taeyong watches him, curiosity close to making him vibrate as he bites down on his bottom lip, trying to be patient, to keep it contained. He’s no longer a kitten. He can do this. 

He’s got this.

He squeezes Johnny’s hand tighter, but Johnny doesn’t let go and just looks into his eyes for a moment.

“One of my clients from the gym asked me to watch his cat next week, for three days, because he has a sudden schedule, and his regular sitter isn’t available.”

“Is the cat a hybrid?” Taeyong murmurs when Johnny doesn’t elaborate, and Taeyong doesn’t understand what’s the problem. He’s not a kitten. He knows how to behave around strange cats. He’s also not like pure cats, who are territorial and aggressive. He can rationalize after all he’s like forty to forty-five percent human on most days, or so Johnny says.

“Yes.”

“I can handle myself.” He reassures Johnny, pulling his hand from Johnny’s and making to lie back down and arrange his body carefully so he’s not lying on top of his tail. Johnny always says it looks painful, but Taeyong always finds the perfect position if he pops his spine this way and arranges his legs that way to continue watching the birds in the garden, who are unaware of him. He doesn’t eat wild birds; it’s just fun to watch them fly and flutter. It makes him want to go outside and chase them. But he doesn’t, he doesn’t want to harm the flowers, and it would upset Johnny if he made a mess.

“It’s not that.” 

Taeyong hears the loud swallow of Johnny’s throat. It stops him from lying down. 

“Tell me then.”

The sun rays on his hand are warm and inviting. 

Johnny bites his lip with white, square teeth before saying, “The client is Mark.” Mark is Jongin’s owner. Soft violet eyes flash once again.

Taeyong’s instinct is to hide under his bed, and cover his ears. If this was about anyone, he could really do it, suppress this instinct and not make Johnny sad because Mark is also the client that stars in a lot of Johnny’s stories, the one who Johnny talks about with so much affection in his voice. His face lights up at the mention of Mark’s name, and his eyes crinkle as he recalls the awkward but funny things that Mark shares about his job as a guitarist. Sometimes Johnny gets so lost in thought, but his heart continues beating loudly, and his scent becomes sweeter, yearning. 

But it’s not just about Mark, it’s also about Jongin, who he doesn’t like. Hiding under the bed means he can’t see Johnny, and if he can’t see Johnny then Johnny can’t tell him things he doesn’t want to hear. 

It’s perfect logic. 

One moment they’re looking each other in the face, and the next moment Taeyong is under the bed with his tail curled around his body. His eyes are closed, and he’s breathing loudly, through his mouth. 

With one eye, he sees Johnny sit up, his face disappearing from the gap between the floor and bed, and all he hears before Johnny closes his bedroom door is, “Okay, I knew this was going to happen. F--crap. I’ll come see you later, Yongie. We can talk about it later.”

Taeyong really hopes they don’t. 

(They don’t. 

At least not that night, Johnny comes to see him that evening. Taeyong had spent the rest of the day wrapped in his blankets, sleeping because he was annoyed with himself, with Johnny, with Mark, and super annoyed with Jongin.

But he was also feeling ashamed, so when Johnny opens his bedroom door, he jumps up and hugs Johnny, saying, “I’m sorry,” into his shoulder.

Johnny sighs, petting his hair, “I ordered your favorite. Ready to eat?”

And Taeyong whether it’s shame, love, or hunger, follows him without another word.)

Ten visits him the next day. Taeyong does not expect Ten to be the one to wake him from his nap, the one he’s taking by his window. In fact, he hasn’t spoken to Ten in weeks because he’s been out of the country with his owner.

However, Johnny has to go into work early the next day and ends up running into one of his former clients and good friend, Jaehyun, a very popular singer that because of his schedule can’t train with Johnny anymore. However, they still do their best to hang out when they can. Jaehyun is the reason that Taeyong knows Ten, his catboy. (Jaehyun has been on tour and is the reason that Ten has been out of the country.)

Taeyong wakes up with a cry and to a sudden weight on his chest. 

“Oof! Gorgeous, I got you.” Ten smiles into his neck and tightens slender arms around him. Ten is always like this. Super clingy. So annoying. (Taeyong doesn’t mind. He’s never really minded. Taeyong likes hugs and cuddles.)

Taeyong huffs and rolls his eyes.

They fall asleep there, in the middle of his room, in his favorite pool of sunlight. 

Taeyong is not really sure how it happens. He doesn’t mean to tell Ten, who is right in the middle of complaining about an obnoxious “super ugly cat with annoying, perfect eyes.” The cat’s name is Kun, and he belongs to a member of the band on tour with Jaehyun.

“I can’t stand him! He thinks he’s so much better than me, always offering me food, sometimes fruit.” Ten shivers as he pulls on one of his dainty, gray ears. Ten hates fruit.

Taeyong lets out a laugh. “It honestly sounds like you like him.” 

“Take that back!” Ten yells before jumping onto Taeyong and before he knows it, they’re tumbling and tussling, like kittens.

Ten pulls on Taeyong’s tail which causes a shiver to speed down his back, and then Taeyong manages to pull Ten into a headlock, shouting, “Johnny wants to babysit Jongin!” Maybe he needs to share or maybe he just wants to stop Ten from pulling his tail once more because it causes the bottom of his stomach to tremble, but it doesn’t feel as good as it does when he’s in heat.

He lets Ten sit back, stretching his legs in front of him. He wants to giggle because Ten’s hair is a mess, and his shirt is now falling off a shoulder, revealing his bony collarbone. He doesn’t though, lest Ten takes offense to that. 

Taeyong shouldn’t have worried though. Ten’s heard enough of Jongin to be curious, wanting to hear everything Taeyong has got to say more than sitting on Taeyong’s head in victory.

“Why does Johnny want to babysit him? Remember, what he did the last time you saw him?” How could Taeyong forget? 

Johnny and him had gone to the end of the year party the gym had thrown for staff, trainers, and clients. A party that Mark and Jongin had also attended. It had been in the middle of the party when cake had been distributed when he walked into Jongin, whose violet eyes had opened wide when they met his. Taeyong had been so unprepared, guard down. But that calm had not lasted long because the next thing he knew, Jongin had smashed the last piece of chocolate cake into Taeyong’s chest, and like a kitten after playing a prank, he’d run off without apologizing. He’d left Taeyong in the middle of the party with cake on his chest.

“I think he’s doing it mostly for Jongin’s owner, Mark. I think he’s trying to show him that he likes him?” Taeyong finishes that thought with a question mark because he’s not sure if that’s what Johnny feels for Mark since he’s never open about it.

“Humans are so weird. Why doesn’t he just tell him?” 

Taeyong shrugs and lays down on his tummy. He really doesn’t know the answer. 

“Oh!” Ten exclaims suddenly, ears pointed high up. 

“What?” Taeyong says, annoyed because Ten’s voice startled him, interrupting the comfortable space he’d managed to create in between his arms and his fluffy carpet.

“If Johnny and Mark start dating, you are going to be seeing more of Jongin than you’re going to like.”

“No,” Taeyong’s ears flatten against his head.

“Yeah, it sucks.” Ten leans against the wall in his disappointment but then his ears perk up again, and Taeyong braces himself for the volume of Ten’s voice. 

He’s not surprised when Ten says excitedly, face unnaturally shining, “Unless you stop that from happening.” While Taeyong is a chill catboy, Ten has always reveled in chaos.

“What?”

“Don’t let Johnny tell Mark he likes him. Ever.” 

When Ten leaves that evening on Jaehyun’s back, mischievous green eyes twinkling over his shoulder, Taeyong feels worse than he felt after Johnny told him that Mark needed Johnny to look over Jongin. 

Can Taeyong really do that? Can he stop Johnny from doing what he wants when Taeyong has always felt that humans should follow their instincts? Because maybe then, they would be happier. 

Taeyong doesn’t sleep much that night. Thoughts that start out small become crazier and crazier as the night goes by, mind racing, unexpected guilt making it hard for him to fall into dreamless slumber.

Taeyong makes it up to Johnny by wrapping tightly around him when he’s still sleeping in his bed early the next morning. Not that Johnny knows that Taeyong had been obsessively thinking about Ten’s suggestion to sabotage Johnny and Mark’s potential relationship. Not that it matters to Taeyong if Johnny understands, really. What matters is that Taeyong is a good cat, a good friend.

Johnny is not even startled, even though Taeyong hasn't dropped into his bed in a while. (Taeyong used to do it a lot when he was younger. Always when he was worried. Always as a form of apology. Always when he needed comfort.)

Instead, Johnny pets Taeyong’s head with a clumsy hand and sleepily mumbles into Taeyong’s hair, “What’s up Tae-bear? What do you need?”

Taeyong doesn’t answer right away, eyes closed tight, his tail wrapped around Johnny’s bicep.

“It’s okay for Jongin to stay with us while Mark is out of town,” he says quietly, hoping that Johnny’s steady heartbeat will drown out his voice.

He senses Johnny finally waking up. His body tenses when he processes what Taeyong said, no longer loose and soft with sleep. 

“Oh dude,” Johnny yawns. 

Taeyong winces when Johnny’s jaw pops. 

“Give me a moment. Come on, Yong, let me sit up,” he finally says, rubbing Taeyong’s back one last time before Taeyong lets him go, rising on his knees and sitting back. He sits still because his body is heavy, nerves a taut string.

Johnny stretches, body popping as he wakes up some more. He rubs his eyes, ruffles his own hair before his brown eyes settle on Taeyong. 

“Hey, Tae-bear.” He pats the space next to him. “Come here, sit next to me.” 

Taeyong goes, and Johnny wraps an arm around him. “It’s okay. He doesn’t have to stay with us anymore. Mark said I can just check on him at his house—drop in to see that he is eating, drinking water, sleeping. He said Jongin is okay with staying alone.” Johnny draws Taeyong close, rubbing his back and scratching his scalp, relieving the tension Taeyong wasn’t aware he was holding. 

Even as he relaxes, Taeyong has already rejected that suggestion as well because it won’t make sense once Johnny goes back to work. If Johnny has to check up on Jongin, he’ll end up coming home later, and Taeyong will be home alone longer. 

If Johnny is going to watch over Jongin, Jongin will have to stay here with them so that Johnny won’t spend more time with Jongin and won’t end up liking him more than he has to… than he probably already does.

“No, hyung,” Taeyong says as Johnny rubs the tip of his ear, and Taeyong wraps his arms around him. 

Johnny looks down at him surprised.

“He should stay with us.”

“Really?” 

Taeyong nods, “You’re my owner, my friend, not his.” 

Johnny lets out a sigh. Taeyong knows Johnny is remembering the time when Taeyong refused to let him give Jongin the stuffed animal Johnny had bought for Jongin’s birthday party. Taeyong had taken a nap with the toy and would not let it go when he woke up. His logic had been that since Johnny had bought it, then it was automatically his because Johnny had once said that everything that was his was Taeyong’s. Johnny had seemed to have forgotten at first, but he had eventually given up trying to take it away from Taeyong when Taeyong had unsheathed his claws and hissed at him. Johnny had bought Jongin something else on the way to his birthday party.

Taeyong had not gone with him. Johnny had not asked if he wanted to go.

Taeyong wonders when he is in his room later that day, staring at the birds, whose idea it was to have Johnny check on Jongin when Mark is out of the city. He also wonders if Jongin still won’t tolerate him just like he couldn’t back at the shelter. Like he couldn’t at the end of the year party when he smashed a slice of cake into his chest, even when Jongin knew it was his favorite.

Those judgy, violet eyes don’t disappear even as he dozes off in the sun. His insides bubble with nerves because he expects that the three days will be similar to when they were kittens and Johnny and Mark wanted them to meet, unaware of their history. 

After hearing Johnny frequently tell stories about how much happier and motivated he was since adopting Taeyong, Mark had adopted Jongin, very aware of the dedication and love it would take to make Jongin trust him and feel comfortable. Mark had wanted to help Jongin make more friends because he was so shy—always hesitantly returning Mark’s affection, staying in his room when Mark was home. Taeyong had been wary but eager to leave their experience in the shelter in the past and ready to turn a new leaf so he had agreed to visit Mark and Jongin when Johnny brought it up. Looking back, they’d all been naive to think that Jongin would be open to such a thing. While Taeyong was forty to forty-five percent human on most good days, other hybrids were less, instead acting like their primal, pure cousins. Jongin had refused to leave his bedroom after he scented Taeyong in the air. As Jongin’s shouts reached his ears, Taeyong felt smaller and smaller.

They’d been thirteen, and Taeyong had spent that short visit hidden in Johnny’s chest, hurt and angry, thinking this was the last time he would try when it came to Jongin. 

If Jongin didn’t care then he didn’t either.

To the astonishment of Johnny, Taeyong had helped Johnny clear up the guest room, shoving extra blankets into the closet, dusting off the pillows, and relocating old boxes of toys into his room for the time being. 

He’d stared at the newly made-up bed, thinking that it was too empty—if he once knew Jongin, Jongin would need a stuffed animal, something to hold onto at night to keep the nightmares at bay. 

He’d placed one of his favorite plushies in the middle of the bed out of his own volition. If Johnny had suggested it, he’d probably would have refused. It was a soft, purple penguin, perfect to squish close at night and hide from nightmares and scary shadows.

He smiled at it before leaving the room. Although he was surprised that he hoped Jongin liked it, he was more surprised that he cared.

It’s a silent dinner, so different from their usual dinners. Taeyong is not surprised because of Johnny. Although Johnny is usually loud when he tells stories and teases Taeyong until he is giggling with a permanent smile on his face, Johnny is like a father or an older brother. His teasing never hurts his feelings. Instead, Taeyong has learned that Johnny’s teasing is an extension of his love for Taeyong. His big eyes are always bright with affection as he pulls Taeyong in before tugging at his hair and flicking his ears. Taeyong will respond by brushing his tail under his nose, leaving hairs to make him sneeze. 

No, he’s surprised because Jongin is at the table today and is not throwing tantrums or throwing food in his direction. He’s being civil, and Taeyong is not sure what to make of his attitude. He’s also perplexed because Jongin is wearing a huge, cotton candy pink colored sweater that makes him look soft. His silver hair is longer than it ever used to be back at the shelter, sweeping past his ears. (Taeyong wonders briefly if it’s as soft as it once was in his hands. Jongin used to like it when Taeyong combed his fingers through the soft strands before falling asleep.) While Jongin doesn’t look once in Taeyong’s direction, he does respond to Johnny’s inquiries, peeking up from his plate and smiling in response when Johnny praises him. “Mark said you were the prettiest dancer at your recital. How was preparing for it?”

Sometimes, when Taeyong goes to his music lessons, Johnny hangs out with Mark, visiting him at home. Johnny used to visit Mark in the evenings, but Taeyong would always refuse to go with him. He hadn’t wanted to be ignored again. While Johnny was away, Taeyong would shred his bed sheets and spend the next day clinging to Johnny, a refusal to let him leave for work. After it happened a few times Johnny had started to visit Mark during Taeyong’s music lessons to give Taeyong a better outlet for whatever emotions Taeyong couldn’t talk to him about. 

Johnny’s visited Mark enough times that Jongin has warmed up to him. Taeyong remembers the way his stomach burned when Johnny had told him that Jongin had greeted him that evening. Taeyong had gone to sleep early that night thinking the milk he had with his cookies had given him a stomachache. (But he’d known it wasn’t that. He was jealous but wasn’t sure of what.) Taeyong hadn’t been able to finish the second cookie, having lost his appetite. However, this didn’t stop him from taking all the cookies with the cookie container to his room and hiding under his pillow the next morning when Johnny looked for them by emptying out the kitchen drawers. If in the evening they were back in their place, Johnny said nothing about it, other than let out a laugh that startled Taeyong from his nap on the couch and then ruffled his hair.

In between answers, Jongin nibbles at the toasted bread and takes bites from the fried chicken leg in his long fingers. 

Taeyong tries not to stare at him, in case Jongin catches him. Even when Jongin never looks in his direction, Taeyong’s heart speeds up as he peeks at Jongin from the side of his eyes.

Johnny winks at him from across their tiny, wooden table. 

Despite his various misgivings, Taeyong stands in the shadowed hallway, in between his room and the guest bedroom, pondering if he should knock on the door. The door that Jongin is behind. 

Taeyong tries not to let this crack his resolution to talk to Jongin, but his ears still flatten on his head, and he pets his own tail, gliding his fingers up and down the soft fur. 

When Jongin opens the door, Taeyong could say _Do you want to watch The King? Have you heard about it? It’s so good._ _It’s like a fairytale._ Jongin used to like fairytales. Taeyong would mean it too—it would be a peace offering, a way to say he wasn’t mad at Jongin. For not being his friend anymore and for playing pranks on him. It would also be his way of checking on Jongin, to see if he was okay, to see if he’s outgrown his fear of storms through the years. There is no need to keep pretending he doesn’t care. 

The last time he saw Jongin was in the morning when they had breakfast before Johnny left for work. He’d known that the only reason Jongin was in the same room as him was because of Johnny. Once Johnny left the house, Jongin would disappear behind the guest bedroom door. Taeyong had been anxious, biting his lip, and tail brushing against Johnny’s cheeks. He’d been surprised when Johnny had spoken, amusement in his voice. “What are you doing Tae-bear?” 

Jongin had briefly looked up at him, and Taeyong had gotten red, his ears flattening against his head in embarrassment at the nickname, given to him when he was young and his response to Johnny’s tears was to climb into Johnny’s lap and hold him, tiny arms wrapped tight around his neck. 

Taeyong wonders, as he stands in the hallway, if this is how Jongin felt the first time, before coming into his room at the shelter to cuddle him, because Taeyong was crying into his pillow, huge pained gasps escaping into the strange, dark room. Jongin had not known him. Taeyong was new at the shelter, it was his first night there, and Jongin had broken the shelter rules because Taeyong was afraid and needed someone. 

Hybrid children are not seen as animals and as such they weren’t locked in their rooms, but they were not allowed to sleep in other hybrids’ rooms. They were never reprimanded; their caretakers understood the hybrid children’s need to give affection and to receive affection. Still there wasn’t a lot their caretakers could do when it came to rules established by the government, even if these rules were made by the government’s bias and ignorance about hybrids.

He knocks on the door, but as he expected, there is no response—all that he can hear is the heavy rain that falls on the roof. 

Taeyong clears his throat and calls out, “Jongin,” but the word gets lost in the loud boom of thunder. He turns the door handle in spite of his trepidation because he is sure that Jongin didn’t hear him through the noise of the storm. He can’t even hear Jongin’s heartbeats—the noise of the storm too loud in the quiet of the house. He doesn’t understand why it’s raining because when Johnny left it had been sunny, but he shakes that thought away because it doesn’t matter when Jongin still hasn’t responded, even as Taeyong opens the door.

He calls out for Jongin in the threshold of the door, spotting Jongin as a bump on the bed, completely covered in the sheets. The bitter smell of Jongin’s fear hits his nose, and he winces. He takes one step into the room but stops, aware that he’s about to take down several of his walls that he’s not sure if he’s ready to break. 

He doesn’t know what to do. Will Jongin accept him just as easily as Taeyong did those years ago at the shelter? Does Taeyong want him to?

After Taeyong’s first night at the shelter, Jongin and Taeyong began to share a bed at night. Their caretakers had made an exception for them. (Taeyong had overheard them talking. Their caretaker, Baekhyun, had told Taemin, another caretaker, how surprised but happy he was that Jongin had taken to Taeyong so fast. _Maybe Taeyong is special,_ Taemin had responded with a small smile _._ ) It had only been a week later that Jongin had told him, averting his eyes, before they went to sleep that night, that Taeyong smelled nice and could they please cuddle. Taeyong had giggled—Jongin looked so cute as he tugged on the bottom of his blue PJs, but was quick to assure Jongin that he did want to cuddle, when Jongin’s bottom lip stuck out. Jongin may not have looked at him, but Jongin’s silver-whitetail had wrapped itself around Taeyong’s arm, and deep inside, Taeyong was happy that he didn’t have to sleep alone.

Taeyong almost doesn’t hear him, stuck in his thoughts and worries, but when his name in Jongin’s voice registers, he scampers to the edge of the bed and kneels right next to it. He brings his fingers to the edge of the mattress because the itch to touch Jongin and comfort him is unexpectedly overwhelming.

“Yes?” he whispers, inclining forward, still unsure that he heard Jongin correctly.

He sees a violet eye peek up at him from in between the burrito Jongin has made of the blankets, and Taeyong trembles. Those walls never stood a chance.

“Will you stay with me, and will you…” Jongin’s voice stops, and Taeyong waits, not wanting to breathe too loudly and startle Jongin, discovering that he doesn’t want Jongin to change his mind. 

“Will you hold me?” Jongin whispers so quietly that if Taeyong wasn’t a catboy, he perhaps would not have heard him, and the moment would have been lost.

“Yes!” The word bursts through the walls they’ve built through the years that placed them on opposite ends, similar to rivals but not quite. Even as unexpected as the word was, Taeyong doesn’t care if Jongin can hear how much he wants this. He doesn’t care that Jongin can hear the yearning in his voice, because if there is another thing Taeyong doesn’t understand about humans, it’s their habit to pretend that they do not want something when they do. 

Jongin’s arms tighten around his back, and he settles into Taeyong’s chest. Underneath all the unfamiliar smells (Mark’s fabric softener and Jongin’s body wash), Jongin’s scent is the same from when they were kittens at the shelter. Holding each other this way feels a lot like coming home. It doesn’t matter that they’re much bigger, or that Jongin is now taller than he is, because like this, tangled around each other, it feels just like how it used to be. Taeyong is too content to think about what that means or what that signifies. Instead he focuses on the way that Jongin’s breathing evens out as the thunder outside quiets as the storm moves away, until all he can hear is the faint pitter-patter of the rain on the roof. 

“I’m sorry.”

The words fill the air, completing the spaces between the furniture and the corners of the room. 

Taeyong doesn’t know how to respond. Still, he knows that letting go of Jongin as the latter detaches himself from Taeyong is not the response he wants to give, but he lets Jongin do as he wants.

Like he always has.

He watches as Jongin sits up, propping a pillow to sit back on, and then Jongin stares down at him, waiting. 

Taeyong is unprepared for what is happening. However, he doesn’t fight against it. He sits up as well, drawing his knees up to his chin. 

Violet eyes stare at him, for the first time, unguarded.

Taeyong breathes out. He wonders briefly if it would be better to say nothing and just keep on living as they have so far. 

Jongin sighs, silver-white ears flattening against his head, “I never meant to stop being your friend.” He pauses, biting the side of his thumb while his white tail curls next to him. “It’s taken me a long time to trust humans—not that I trust _all_ humans—” 

Taeyong can hear the emphasis on the word _all_ and has the urge to smile.

“That’s not the point.” Jongin continues, “What I mean is that at the shelter I was scared of being left behind, and then you and I were friends, which was something I never meant to happen, but also didn’t regret. I know it’s no excuse.” Taeyong eyebrows rise, and Jongin half-smiles. “Mark says it’s understandable, but it’s no excuse for hurting you. And I’ve been wanting to tell you for awhile that it was never your fault—I just didn’t know how to do it. I didn’t know how to deal with Johnny having chosen you when he visited.”

Jongin takes a deep breath, bracing himself for something. Taeyong is not sure where this is leading. 

“He pet you. Johnny pet you the first time he visited.”

Taeyong remembers how unsure he felt when he first met Johnny, but also the longing he felt because while he had also been abandoned like Jongin, Taeyong had never stopped wishing for a forever home. 

“All I thought was that you would leave me.” Jongin exhales, his human teeth bite into the fleshy part of his bottom lip. He has his white tail in between his hands, holding onto it like a safety net.

“So I pushed you away before you left me, and I’ve come to understand that doing that was unfair and mean. I never wanted to hurt you, Taeyong. Honestly, I don’t understand how you’re still nice to me.”

Jongin’s eyes are wide, and Taeyong can see the tears clinging to his bottom lashes like water droplets clinging to flower petals. 

Taeyong has spent the last two years thinking over and over again of how it all went wrong. Of what he did or did not do. But, he never once thought that it was because Jongin had been afraid of losing him. Hope fills in the cracks and dark spaces of his heart.

Taeyong may not know a lot of things— he’s almost six and half in human years and nineteen as a catboy— but he knows enough to know that this is their second chance. He stares at Jongin for a moment longer, stares into those violet eyes that have never left him alone, especially when he sleeps. 

He laughs and reaches for Jongin. 

“You could never lose me.” 

Jongin lets out a startled cry, but folds easily around him, fitting in all the empty spaces he had not realized he still had. His knees bracket Taeyong’s hips as his weight settles on Taeyong thighs, and he wraps his arms around Taeyong’s neck. 

Yes, holding Jongin, just like this, is like coming home. His hand glides through the silkiness that is Jongin’s fluffy tail as it curls around his fingers. 

They spend the rest of the day catching up. Jongin tells him about his life with Mark, that he never thought he’d be able to trust Mark as much as he does. “At first, I was hesitant to accept his invitation to adopt me. Baekhyun—you remember Baekhyun?” 

Taeyong nods. How could Taeyong forget him? Baekhyun, his former caretaker at the shelter, had always been bright and kind, albeit loud. He used to have energy that matched the hybrids’. He remembers that a puppy hybrid used to follow him around like Baekhyun had hung the moon and the stars. He wonders what happened to Yukhei.

“Baekhyun told me that night, after Mark first visited me, that I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to do. I think I was scared, but I was also curious and hopeful - yeah, hopeful. Although, I would never have admitted it.”

Taeyong shares as well. Jongin’s violet eyes are trained on him as he hugs his knees, mouth open in amazement. The sheets are crumpled at the foot of the bed. 

“We really got lucky, didn’t we, Yongie?” Jongin whispers, and Taeyong does not disagree, but he can’t help himself from blushing. Jongin hasn’t talked to him in a long time, and to hear him call him by his nickname in such a reverent tone makes his insides feel squirmy. 

What Taeyong really wants to do is hug Jongin, and he does, even though his insides become squirmier, at least by a tenfold. Still, hugging Jongin makes him happy. When Taeyong notices the faint blush on Jongin’s cheeks as they leave Jongin’s guest room to heat up the food Johnny left them, he can’t help the warm, tingly pleasure that takes root in his chest in spite of the uncomfortable, squirmy feelings.

In the evening, when Johnny has gotten home and they’ve eaten dinner, Jongin dances for them in the middle of the living room. They move the couches out of the way, clearing the room so that Jongin has space to move. 

Taeyong is mesmerized by the long, elegant line of Jongin’s body as he glides through the room. He is also drawn to the emotion on Jongin’s face as he dances. So honest, so vulnerable, so raw. Jongin’s tail is a graceful companion as Jongin tells the story of breaking through mental barriers to reach happiness.

They both congratulate him. Johnny tugs at Jongin’s fluffy ear, giving Jongin a proud, fatherly grin, Taeyong notices. While Taeyong hugs Jongin despite the unexpected heat of self-consciousness that rushes to his face as he does. Taeyong chooses to hide his face in Jongin’s shoulder and wonders if Jongin knows that he’s struggling to keep cool. But Jongin doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he shyly accepts their compliments at first, and like a flower, he opens up, sharing stories with Johnny and Taeyong about the dance program he’s a part of.

That night Jongin sleeps in his room, wrinkling his nose the moment he enters. Taeyong stares at him in question, but Jongin says nothing. Taeyong is thankful that Johnny is not overbearingly curious and embarrassing. His only reaction when Taeyong shares is to raise his eyebrows and smile wide and knowing. It’s similar to the smile Johnny gives him when Taeyong asks for kisses now that he’s older and much more independent than when he was a kitten, when he wanted constant cuddles from Johnny. 

On the third and last day of Jongin’s stay, Jongin reads favorite passages of one of his favorite books in the garden after breakfast. Taeyong sits with his legs crossed, drawn to the happiness shining from Jongin’s eyes and spilling from his smile as he reads and goes off on tangents of why he loves this book so much. Taeyong finds himself struck, trying to take in every word, smile, and laugh that Jongin gifts him. 

Jongin, Taeyong comes to the conclusion, truly puts the sun to shame.

Before Mark comes to pick up Jongin in the afternoon, Taeyong plays for Jongin the latest song he’s been learning on the guitar. They’re in his room, sitting on his bed. Jongin is warm seated next to him. Normally, Taeyong doesn’t need to concentrate where his fingers go on the strings—playing always comes easy—but with Jongin swaying to the music, Taeyong finds himself just wanting to watch him. It’s puzzling, something that he doesn’t quite understand and doesn’t know if he should. 

However, when Jongin is about to leave, his heart deflates, breath catching in his throat, forgotten.

His eyes open wide in surprise and his cheeks heat up when Jongin turns around from where he was about to follow Mark out the door. Violet eyes are all he can see as Jongin leaps to him.

Jongin kisses him on the cheek, and Taeyong forgets how to think.

Taeyong comes to his second conclusion of the day: maybe it is important for him to know what is going on, to know what Jongin is doing to him because this has never happened to him before, not even when Ten helped him through his heat.

It’s been three weeks since the last time they’ve seen each other, and Taeyong has done nothing but think of Jongin (mostly because of Ten’s constant prying and teasing). This must be why Taeyong reacts so strongly to Jongin’s presence the moment Jongin’s walks through his front door, behind Johnny. 

Taeyong and Jongin haven’t been able to meet up because Mark and Johnny have been busy with work and their schedules haven’t aligned. Still the two catboys have done their best to talk often on the phone, getting to know each other again, sharing the things they’ve learned during lessons, and the happenings of their everyday lives.

He knows the moment it hits Jongin that he’s going to go into heat. His violet eyes meet Taeyong’s over Johnny’s shoulder, and his pupils dilate at Taeyong’s attention while his knees give away because Taeyong’s scent permeates every inch of the house. It must be like slamming into a wall, an invisible wall made up completely of Taeyong that completely overwhelms his senses. 

Johnny catches Jongin, just barely. 

Taeyong hisses. 

Jongin shivers at the sound, confusion present in the frown on his face and his reddening cheeks, but he still attempts to stand on his own. Johnny doesn’t let go of him.

Taeyong hisses again, louder this time, and before he knows what he's doing, claws spring free as he widens his stance, tail high, possessive.

Johnny looks up at him from where he’d bent to catch Jongin. His brown eyes widen in alarm. 

“Taeyong, what is going—” Understanding catches up to Johnny, and he quickly kneels with Jongin in his arms in submission— to communicate to Taeyong that he has no interest in Jongin. Before Taeyong’s first heat, they learned what to expect: how Taeyong would react, what he would need, and what Johnny should do to make this moment as calm and peaceful as possible. They’d also learned that hormones released during heat affect hybrids differently and to never get between a hybrid and their bonded. (Something particular only to hybrids, primal animal instincts intensifying and solidifying human emotions.) Ten had been the one who helped Taeyong through his heat, and he’d been physically affected but not aggressive. He hadn’t minded Johnny’s closeness.

Taeyong does. 

Still, he focuses on Jongin when he retracts his claws and helps Jongin to his feet and wraps a firm arm around his waist, finally taking him from Johnny, which eases the aggressive instinct to fight Johnny until he is no longer touching Jongin. 

Jongin trembles as they walk down the hallway to his room, and it takes his mind off Johnny, calming him further, soothing all those dangerous instincts. 

“Not that it matters, but I think it’s a good day for me to go visit some friends.” Is the last thing Taeyong hears from Johnny as he closes his bedroom door. 

With this being the last thought that Taeyong will spare Johnny, Taeyong agrees that this will be for the best because humans are interesting creatures when it comes to sex, and while Johnny is a lot more casual when it comes to it, he still gets awkward about it sometimes, especially when Taeyong asks questions. 

Taeyong knows that giving them privacy will give Johnny a bigger peace of mind than it will to Jongin and him because once Jongin’s heat is in full swing, everything outside this bedroom door will not matter to either of them. 

Taeyong is careful as he works three fingers in and out of Jongin, hole opening easily to this intrusion. Jongin’s slick makes the slide easier and wetter. The smell makes Taeyong curious of what it tastes like, of how it would feel coating his mouth, but he hesitates for a moment since his primary focus is to take the edge off Jongin’s heat before it becomes painful. Taeyong doesn’t want that to happen. He watches the emotions that play across Jongin’s face closely, the need to take care of Jongin stronger than anything else.

As Taeyong continues to work Jongin open, making sure to hit his prostate, he brings his other hand to where the slick has coated Jongin’s ass to coat his fingers and then brings them to his mouth to taste it. The flavor is overwhelmingly sweet on his tongue, like honey.

Jongin lets out a groan, and Taeyong’s eyes pop open.

Jongin’s violet eyes are almost black and fixated on him. Better said, fixated on his fingers still in his mouth. 

Taeyong’s cheeks are warmer than they were a second ago.

It’s interesting the way emotions work. He hadn’t given it a second thought, really, once Jongin’s heat hit, to let his instincts take over and sink his fingers into Jongin, the only thing on his mind had been to take away Jongin’s discomfort because that’s what Jongin needed, and it’s what he wanted more than anything. However, the moment Jongin wants him, shows that he desires him,Taeyong is suddenly conscious of what he’s doing.

“Don’t do that,” Jongin gasps as he brings up a hand to pull Taeyong closer by the back of his head, fingers tightening in his hair, when Taeyong licks his lips, stoking that heat into a fire.

Still, Taeyong bends down easily like sunflowers do to the sun. This is their first kiss, but it is not at all like the first kisses Taeyong has seen on television, in the numerous shows he’s watched out of his curiosity. It is not hesitant or awkward. It is not insecure or uncomfortable. It is hungry and knowing. It is confident. The touch of their lips is new, electrifying, and addicting. Passionate and sure.

Their mouths part because Jongin can’t focus on kissing Taeyong for long; moans won’t stop spilling from those reddened lips as Taeyong’s fingers drive into Jongin again and again, faster and faster, abusing that soft gland that makes Jongin’s face contort in the most mesmerizing way. 

It fillsTaeyong with something he’s never felt before, but a feeling he wants to keep. A feeling he knows Jongin can only give him.

Taeyong knows that the heat has spread throughout Jongin’s body, making it hard to breathe, hard to think, hard to be patient. Jongin has his bee-stung lip in between his teeth, white because of the pressure of which he is biting. Taeyong wants to take it between his teeth and do the same. He wants to mark him, claim him so that any hybrid, be it a catboy or not, will know Jongin has someone to call his. 

Taeyong also knows from experience how disorienting this is and how impossible it is to be patient for the orgasm to build which is why he is unrelenting, even as sweat clings to Jongin’s skin as he throws his head back exposing his throat, his straining veins. 

“I got you,” he whispers against Jongin’s neck, right above a jumping vein. 

It’s intoxicating the way Jongin shivers against his lips, just like Jongin’s slick, and Jongin’s fluttering hole that keeps greedily swallowing his fingers. Taeyong resists the instinct to suck against Jongin’s skin because he knows once he gives in to his own urges he won’t be thinking of making this only about Jongin. He’ll want to take and take. He’s a cat after all. Nicer than most, but he’s wanted Jongin for far too long to not be selfish.

That’s a thing as well, this realization having come forth when he hissed at Johnny. He likes Jongin, maybe even loves him. He’s always felt this way about Jongin, one way or another, ever since they met. Bonded.

So Taeyong bites his sensitive bottom lip, hoping to steady his breathing, and prioritize making Jongin come because it will calm the fire underneath Jongin’s skin, making it possible for Jongin to enjoy Taeyong fucking him. 

Taeyong really wants Jongin to enjoy his heat even if it was unexpected. He ponders that thought for a moment, why was it a surprise? But it’s not important enough to be more than a fleeting thought as Jongin writhes on his sheets.

Taeyong sits up, having to stop the pumping of his fingers into Jongin’s hole. Jongin whimpers at the loss, and those violet eyes, swallowed by the black of his irises, meet his, and he is caught again, a similar fire to a heat spreading under his own skin as he finally takes Jongin’s angry-red cock in his other hand, the one where he licked his fingers, but not before coating it in Jongin’s warm, honey slick.

Jongin comes, and curses like Taeyong has never heard before when he swallows Jongin’s weeping red head. Jongin’s fingers comb through his hair and pet his ears, before gripping his hair in tight fists. Surprisingly, Taeyong doesn’t mind, and moans instead. Taeyong’s cock gives an unexpected throb that pushes him to suck Jongin until his cock is limp and empty, but still, sweet. He gives it one last lick before sitting up when Jongin, with trembling fingers, pulls at his hair for him to stop. It won’t be long until Jongin’s next heat wave hits, but for now, Jongin can finally think. 

And given what Taeyong just did, he shouldn’t be shy by the way Jongin kisses him, sucking on his tongue like Taeyong did to the head of Jongin’s cock, but he is. 

Jongin laughs against his neck, saying, “That was so hot. How are you still the cutest,” petting his ears again. Taeyong’s answer is to pull him closer, arms tight around him.

“Shut up,” he says into Jongin’s sweaty hair.

Before Jongin’s next heat wave, Taeyong, without bothering to put anything on, goes to the kitchen to get water for him and finds a case of gatorade on the kitchen table with a note from Johnny telling them to have fun and to stay hydrated. He also says that he’ll order them food in a few hours.

He signs the note with _It was about time._

Taeyong’s face heats up and wishes he wasn’t 40 to 45 percent human most of the time. 

When Taeyong finally pushes into Jongin from behind, much later, Jongin is on his knees, face pushed into a pillow, shoulder blades petals in the wind. His skin is coated in sweat, and their scents are intertwined. There will never be a moment when he’s in this room that he doesn’t think of Jongin. Not that Taeyong ever wants things to be ever like they were before. Not like they ever could. 

Jongin is his. 

They’re bonded. Have been bonded for a long time.

As Jongin lets out a deep throated moan, Taeyong is so close to exploding. He grasps harder onto Jongin’s waist, claws pushing into Jongin’s soft skin, and Jongin shivers. (Jongin had whispered before Taeyong flipped him around, “I want you to mark me,” skin flushing prettily as he smirked. It made Taeyong dizzy.) 

Taeyong drives deeper into him, punching out all the little noises he can from Jongin, drinking them in like he did Jongin’s cum.

He can’t press flush against Jongin’s back, but he does his best with Jongin’s tail trapped in between their bodies, as Taeyong pushes in faster and harder, his lower abdomen rubs against the base of Jongin’s tail when he manages to take Jongin’s dick in his hand.

Jongin’s hole tightens around him almost instantly, milking Taeyong, orgasm catching him by surprise. 

Taeyong bites Jongin’s shoulder when he comes, and Jongin’s claws slice through the mattress.

The next day, they’re in bed when Jongin shares why he forgot to take his suppressants. They’re eating what Johnny brought them when he came home during the night to grab a change of clothes and some toiletries, after texting Taeyong if it was safe to do so. Johnny had also decided that his visit to his friend would extend for the next few days until further notice from Taeyong. (Johnny had once shared with Taeyong that it was weird for him to be in the same place as Taeyong when he had sex because Johnny saw Taeyong as someone he still had to care for but at the same time as someone he respected. Giving Taeyong privacy was the best way Johnny had found to give himself peace of mind.) 

“It’s that,” Jongin says around the food in his mouth, pouting, “I was annoyed that Mark was going out with Robert-Rob-Bob- _whatever,_ so I didn’t take or pack my suppressants.” He huffs, scowling, “I really wanted Johnny to be the one to go out with Mark. Is that silly?” Jongin asks, but before Taeyong can get in a word, he continues, “It’s silly. I knew it. I’m no longer a kitten and I can’t really tell how they feel about each other, but I really wanted them to be together because Mark always laughs the most when Johnny comes around.”

Once it becomes obvious that Jongin is done rambling, Taeyong smiles, fangs showing.

Jongin’s mouth falls open, the food inside half chewed. It’s a good thing Taeyong is a catboy because he doesn’t even blink. 

“What?” Jongin’s ears rise in question.

“You’re going to like who Johnny will be visiting for days during your heat then.” 

Jongin’s puffy, sleepy face shines bright once he understands what Taeyong is saying, droopy eyes becoming sharp and focused.

“Finally!” He whoops, sending all the food flying as he jumps onto Taeyong and straddles his hips. “Then let’s make this heat a long-lasting one! I have many things I want to try!”

Taeyong lets out a laugh in surprise but still wraps his arms around Jongin. He's never heard anything better and more devious than this. 

"Me too." Taeyong shares against Jongin's lips before Jongin bites down on his bottom lip. 

There's nothing better and more devious than having Jongin in his arms with the promise of forever. 

**Author's Note:**

> I look forward to your thoughts.


End file.
